Roughing It

We spent the weekend at our chalet cabin camper. We like having this "house on wheels," as the kids call it. It allows pansies like myself to enjoy the great outdoors with the benefits of hot showers, chilled wine and 300 count sheets on an actual mattress instead of a sleeping bag. Plus, there is a wall and roof of fiberglass separating you and the

1. cold and/or rain
2. bugs and
3. animals that like to eat you.

This is first time we've been up there this year. The goal was to de-winterize it so we can begin enjoying it again. This task best performed if the relationship between you and your significant other is solid. Otherwise you will kill each other.

In theory, to de-winterize a house on wheels it should take two literate adults 2-3 hours, tops. Once again we managed to more than double that timeline, including the time it took John to drive into town to seek professional help help from someone who knows what they are doing. He came back replacement piping for the leaky plumbing, but no professional and it was then I decided he could take the camper in the divorce because if I wanted to be in a place where the pipes leak I could just stay home in our apartment in Brooklyn.

Eventually, we figured it all out. At least we think we did: we had hot water to cook and wash with and nothing exploded. Well, maybe a few tempers but that's nothing new, right?

Once we were finished, we sat down to eat dinner and realized that we'd forgotten a box at home containing groceries. No big deal, I thought. We'll get by. We could live without ketchup for a night and go without the left over Easter m&m's. Except it was the box that had the coffee in it. So even though we had hot water and shelter we were truly roughing it without coffee for the morning.