Friday, January 5, 2007
new commandments
i pretty much have the ten commandments well under control. stealing? hasn't been a problem. killing? never. i have only one god, i honor my parents. coveting the neighbors? not a problem unless josh holloway, viggo mortensen or liam neeson move in next door.

so god, if you could please make these part of the universal rules, it'd make my remaining days on this planet much better and i'd be ever so appreciative:

thou shalt remove thy backpack on crowded subways
thou shalt scoop the poop when walking thy dog
thou shalt not use the street as thine own personal kleenex, spittoon or toilet
thou shalt not hover over the bqe in a helicopter to deliver traffic news
thou shalt signal a turn or lane change with your blinker
thou shalt learn to parallel park
thou shalt use spell check when communicating, especially in a business situation
thou shalt remove thy ipod earphones and rejoin society from time to time
thou shalt not block the aisle in the grocery store with thine cart



Blogger Andie said...

i like those commandments. as for new neighbors, hey I could go for one of those, perhaps even derek jeter or kiefer sutherland...hey, a girl can dream, right?

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