Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Guest blogger today!
Today we have a guest blogger since our usual blogger-in-residence is up to her eyeballs in work. It is Inky, the cat. Enjoy her take This Charming Life.

First, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Inky, a 7 year old domestic short hair. I came to live with The Humans in September, 1999. (Since they refuse to let me lay on their table all day I refuse to call them by their given names.) I'm the 2nd cat The Humans acquired. The first was Oreo, who is quite nice once you get to know her. She's a cat's cat and prefers to be left alone. I, on the other hand, thrive on attention.

When I came to live here, we had lots of sofas and space. And no kids! Life was grand. We were spoiled. There were never ending supplies of fake rabbit-fur mice for us to bat around, kitty treats twice daily and lots of play time.

Things have gone downhill since the Baby Humans arrived on the scene. I don't know where The Humans acquired them but they've certainly added an element of chaos. These days it's all "Oh, I must have forgotten to feed you before I left for work," and "Hey, you! Get off of there!" It is especially bad when the Boy Baby Human karate chops the air in front of my face and yells "HiiiiiYA!" The Girl Baby Human is OK; she's picking up the slack on the food front by dutifully filling our kibble bowl every evening. At least someone's paying attention.

I can't complain, though. We get outside time and we are permitted in every room of the house. But when I am especially cranky, I play games like Poop Outside the Box and Throw Up on the Carpet. That really gets the Lady Human riled up and that makes me feel better. The best is when I do both and then the Baby Boy Human poops his diaper and the Lady Human is cleaning up all manner of bodily by-products for 30 minutes straight. You've got to come by sometime and see the look on her face on days like that. It's classic!

Another way to keep The Humans interested in me is to not groom myself. It garners all sorts of attention and exclamations like "Jeez, you're really letting yourself go, you know that?" and "You smell!" and my personal favorite "Look at you! You're friggin' filthy!" They're so sweet to notice. In return, I do them the favor of putting my butt as close to their faces as possible while sleeping. It's the least I can do.

We are all looking forward to the summer. I hear the cicadas are about to emerge. Fantastic! I love to catch them and bring them in the house. The buzzing sound they make is music to my ears. The shrieks of horror when The Humans spy the partially dismembered insect is just icing on the cake. Of all the things I do, I am best at catching flies. No, really. I'm, like, really good at it. The ideal place to put the fly, once caught, is on the kitchen table where the family can enjoy looking at the corpse over a meal. They are so stupid to throw it away and scrub the table. It's just a FLY for goodness sake.

As you can see, This Charming Life can be hectic but it is fun. Despite how things have changed around here The Humans are alright. I have them pretty well trained. Why just the other night I stood in the kitchen meowing loudly and one of them came to me. Me! In the middle of the night! Now that’s love. She walked away muttering something about “no-kill shelter” but surely that’s a term of endearment, right?


Blogger Andie said...

thank you to Inky for sharing his perspective on this charming life. I really enjoyed it!

Anonymous Mom said...

I'm rolling.......the tears are falling
very funny, the funniest is about Harry Boys karate

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