Wednesday, January 10, 2007
two years ago today....
i woke up still pregnant, despite my obstetrician's assertion that i'd deliver my 2nd child before the new year. ha! i showed him!

i'd made it to my due date. so, i thought, my 2nd will be late. i just hoped the baby wouldn't come too late. i didn't want to wait another week, suffer 12 hours of back labor only to have the doctor show up and say, "gee, we think the baby's too big to make it out of you alive so we're going to cut you open give you a c-section. everything will be ok!"

well that afternoon, i had just picked up my daughter from school and was chatting with a friend on the phone when i suddenly, and quite nimbly i might add, jumped up from the couch thinking "gee, i've never been that incontinent before!" only to say to myself "you idiot! your water broke!"

at the hospital, i pulled aside a nurse and told her "see that guy over there? keep him away from me." i was talking about the intern/resident/doctor who had apparently skipped class the day they taught all soon-to-be obstetricians the gentle way to perform an internal exam. i'd been under his care exactly a week earlier when i was having labor pains and was sent to the hospital, so i knew first hand (ha! get it? first hand?) what an ungentle sonofabitch he could be. luckily, i got a nice little asian lady. key word? little.

then i saw my regular obstetrician, who was just coming off duty at the hospital. of all the advice i should have taken that day, his words remain at the forefront of my mind: "ask for your epidural as soon as you get settled in the delivery room."

"nah," i thought. "i want this overwith. i've delivered before so i think i'll forgo the drugs this time and do it natural. no need to hold things up with pain relief!" pregnant women are insane and no one should listen to them.

well, 2 hours later i was begging, begging, for anything to ease the pain. what could only be described as the absolute worst anesthesiologist ever created finally arrived. after a brief interview, a "you could be paralyzed" warning and three attempts at catheter insertion, the epidural took effect. "ahhh," said i. which was immediately followed by "hey! the baby's coming!"

and he did! a perfect little baby boy, who has grown into a smart, funny, articulate (as articulate as 2 year olds can get) little boy. he makes me smile when he sings the theme to the wonder pets and i howl with laughter when he quotes the show with "iss sewious" and answers questions with "alwight." he is obsessed with anything that moves on wheels, is lightening fast and stingy with kisses.

happy, happy 2nd birthday!


Blogger Andie said...

you are hysterical. but hey, i agree with you, EPIDURAL'S RULE. the boy is soo cute. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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