silly, silly me

if you have a two year old or your child was once two, it is probably obvious to you that they are irrational creatures. if your child has yet to turn two, don't say i didn't warn you.

i remember when my daughter was two i took her to the doctor for a check up. i was distressed. "is it normal for kids to be, you know, so irrational?" i asked. the doctor laughed at me. of course she laughed; she wasn't present at the egg incident:

"want some eggs for breakfast?" i innocently asked one day.

"yes!"

and with such an enthusiastic reply, i dutifully made her eggs.

when it came time for her to eat the eggs, she took maybe two bites. "all done!" she declared.

"no, eat more. healthy!" i told her. she ignored me, removed herself from the chair and went to play with her toys.

i kept at it: "come eat your eggs," "they're getting cold," "you must eat your eggs or no trip to the park today," blah blah blah."

then finally i said "are you going to eat these eggs or not?"

and from the enthusiastic reply of "no!" i threw them away. silly, silly me.

five minutes later, my daughter walked into the room. "where the eggs, mama?"

"i threw them away."

"no!!!!!! eggs! eggs! eeeeegggggssss!" she threw herself on the floor and wailed and kicked and shed rivers of tears while i looked at her dumbstruck wondering to where my agreeable one year old had disappeared.

stuff like this went on and on. i'd ask her a question and go along with the answer. then she'd tell me i was wrong, she really did want/need/like something.

nowadays, i have a two year old boy. last night i asked "ready to take a bath?"

"yes!"

and with such an enthusiastic reply, i dutifully drew him a bath. silly, silly me.

first there was the corralling of the boy to remove his clothes which made him cry. then there was the streaking through the house that is compulsory and ended with crying because he'd hit his head on the broiler handle in the kitchen. i asked again, "ready for your bath?"

he replied "yes!" then climbed on top of his train table. naked.

"let's go, then!" i say.

"no! no! no! no! no! no!" he yelled while stomping his feet on the table.

"yes, it is time."

he yelled "no! no! no! no! no! no!" and i held his hand while we walked to the bathroom. he resisted and i reminded him we're going to the tub.

"ok!" he said while still resisting. finally-finally!-i got him into the tub where he cried because he was wet. so i quickly washed him up and asked "ready for your pj's?"

"yes!"

and from such an enthusiastic reply, i dutifully drained the tub. silly, silly me.